Run-On Sentence

That is what my life feels like right now. I don't even know where to start. OVERWHELMED! That's a word that I get.

The big kids are out of town at my aunt's right now. While the responsibility of taking care of them is lifted, I am feeling so very lonely. I can't wait for them to get home.

Grant's surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday. I can't seem to accept this decision. There is so much that can go wrong, either way. It is a decision full of What-Ifs. Please pray that I am making the right one.

I'm not making enough milk to feel Cade. I am not sure why this is so emotional for me, but it is. I feel like I am letting him down by supplementing with formula. I wish that I could get him back on the breast. My plan is to meet with a lactation consultant next week while we are all at the hospital. If I can't start making more, I think that I am going to give up the pump. It doesn't seem to be worth the headache for only 1/2 of what he needs.

I am feeling so down about myself physically. None of my clothes fit, but I can't justify spending money on clothes right now when Grant's bills are mounting up. Speaking of clothes not fitting, the boys are quickly going through their stash that I started. I need to get some of their newborn clothes on Ebay, so that I can buy more. Who has the time?

I haven't been able to work because the boys are too difficult for George to handle right now. Being broke isn't helping things one bit.

Oh, and finally....what in the hell am I supposed to do with all of my kids next week??? They are saying that we should expect at least a 4 day hospitalization. You would think that D and T's dad would keep them, but NO. I am desperately trying to piece together places for them to go without freaking them out completely.

Sorry that this is such a downer post, but it feels good to get it all out on print. Just one thing at a time, right??